Unconditional love… How to revive this wonderful feeling within yourself? Learn to love this world without judging, not selectively. And of course, guided by the heart.
Any living organism existing on our vast Planet was created by Unconditional Love. And we humans are no exception. The only difference is that the whole living world(animals, birds, plants, microorganisms) knows how and accepts this love. And we, due to our negative emotions and beliefs, over time closed our hearts to love. We stopped emitting it, plunging headlong into the bustle of everyday life.
Unconditional love is the energy that has the highest vibrational frequency. It heals, brings life and dissolves, transforms any negative aspects and phenomena. Old grievances, traumas, mental pain, illnesses - everything disappears if you send a flow of unconditional love there. Raising your vibration and radiating positive emotions fills you with unconditional love.
How do you understand that She (unconditional love) is She?
The feeling of unconditional love is a state of spiritual elation! When you feel inner freedom and want to embrace the whole World. This is a whole palette of wonderful sensations that fill you from the inside. When you experience the feeling of unconditional love, your consciousness expands.
You feel an inextricable connection with your higher aspects and with the Creator. This a feeling of Lightness, Acceptance and Forgiveness. You accept not only those around you, but the whole World as it is. Without conditions, without claims, without judgment with joy and love.
When your heart is filled with unconditional love, you are completely open to life. You broadcast it to the world around you, and in return you get the same thing! Only the flow coming towards you is hundreds of times more powerful! By feeling unconditional love in every fiber of your being, you raise your vibrations to their highest frequency.
From this elevated state, you can direct the flow of unconditional love anywhere. She's capable transform any low-frequency energies and vibrations.
By directing the energy of unconditional love to a sore spot in the body, you thereby heal it. By giving unconditional love to others, you achieve harmonious relationships. Filling your heart with this feeling, your Soul is in peace and harmony. Living with a feeling of unconditional love means constantly feeling the support of the Universe in your life.
How to rekindle unconditional love within yourself
You just need to remember. Take and remember this feeling with your heart. After all, it lives in each of us, but for some it lives somewhere deep inside. As children, we knew this feeling very well and carried it into the world around us. Remember childish spontaneity. How kids love everything that surrounds them, including themselves. How They look at the world with wide open eyes, in which sparkles of unconditional love shine. But, over time, we forgot her and our hearts closed.
Theta meditation will help you feel the flow of unconditional love.
- Start loving yourself unconditionally. With all its features: plump or too thin, with large or small breasts, feminine and not very feminine - it doesn’t matter which one. The main thing is to love yourself unconditionally, without any evaluation, claims or self-flagellation. You can only broadcast to others what is in you. their. This is one of the laws of the Universe, and it works!
- Accept your loved ones with all “their cockroaches”, habits and judgments. Love them for what they are! They live next to you and give you their attention, support and love. Don't try to change them, change yourself! Raising your vibrations and filling yourself with unconditional love.
- Learn to accept this world unconditionally, and not from the position: “I am for you, and you are for me!” Love, Acceptance and Gratitude work real miracles! Living your life with a feeling of unconditional love in your heart gives you wings. And with ease and joy you walk along your Path, led by the Creator himself and the Universe!
Ecology of life. Psychology: What is unconditional love that everyone wants, some demand, but no one can really express their idea of it?
Why love doesn't bring happiness
What is unconditional love that everyone wants, some demand, but no one can really express their idea of it?
And ideas can be really different. Most people mistake something completely different for love. What we are accustomed to consider love, in the overwhelming majority of cases, is simply neurotic attachment.
Are you ready to bet? Then try to imagine the feelings of a woman who lets her husband go for good to someone else without any offense. And at the same time, figure out how often such high relationships occur in your life. In such a situation, you feel very well where the true you are and where your ego is, what language it speaks to you in, and how much unconditional love you have for living beings. Do you really want your loved one to be happy if he is not happy with you, or do you want to tear a piece away from him? Or vice versa - forcefully give him a piece of yourself so that he doesn’t forget you, although he didn’t ask for it?
You can think that you love a person unconditionally, denying yourself and indulging him in everything. Manipulators of all stripes, by the way, love to use this. “If you love me, you must...” (and then an endless list of responsibilities). And here the lovers run out of arguments, often along with their strength. Because unconditional love does not always presuppose sacrifice, but on the contrary - the ability to distance oneself in time and leave the relationship, retaining warm feelings in the heart and without proving anything to a person who is not able to accept or appreciate this sacrifice.
It is believed that parental love is unconditional, but this is more of the “expectation vs reality” series. Because if this were really so, the notorious problem of fathers and sons, with the eternal war of values and views, would not exist. Indeed, you can think that you love a child and invest all of yourself into him without reserve, but won’t this ultimately be a disservice? To treat your child with unconditional love, you need to know yourself very well so as not to mistake your desires for him for love. Because when a child disappoints, it is no longer love, but disappointed expectations. Those who truly love do not expect anything.
To better understand what true, unconditional love is, we must first assume that this is complete self-acceptance. It is not for nothing that one of the main spiritual commandments says: love your neighbor as yourself. What could be simpler and clearer? After all, our attitude towards ourselves determines the nature of our relationships with the world. If these relationships are complex and confusing, the whole world will be just a distorting mirror for us, where we will see unloved, unaccepted sharp parts of ourselves and constantly get hurt about them, creating painful situations and entering into traumatic relationships.
An ungrown, immature person is not capable of unconditional love. It's like sitting in an inflated pool all your life or going out into the open sea. There is water in both places, but the sensations and scale are incomparable. The ocean terrifies those who have never seen anything but a swimming pool. Although this will not frighten a normally growing child, but will rather attract him to the path of new discoveries. Therefore, any violations of love are the result of obstacles that arose along the path of life in the process of growing up. And if the environment at one time did not introduce the sea, a person is unlikely to be destined to know it, only a vague longing for something unattainable will remain.
And of course, true love requires strength. One in order to swim across a pond with familiar shores, ducks and tadpoles, and a completely different one - to conquer the raging ocean. But you can know the ocean and at the same time not neglect the pond and ducks, seeing the same nature in them and knowing that a proud petrel will never grow out of a duck. An unconditionally loving sage, by the way, is also hardly suitable for ordinary life.
So to each his own, and our main daily small task is to see a piece of the divine in everyone and not forget to cultivate the divine in ourselves. Only then will we be able to move at least one small step closer to that feeling of happiness, which until now has been tinged with something vaguely familiar and unrealizable. published . If you have any questions about this topic, ask them to the experts and readers of our project .
“Don’t be born beautiful, but be born happy,” as the famous saying goes.
Most people do not feel happy - and, not understanding the true reasons for this, they ask the question: “Why do the years go by and still no happiness?”
Understanding well how important it is for many to understand the causes of their problems, I begin to post articles on the site, which in the future should turn into a book “Wasn’t I born happy?”
I don’t know yet how soon the articles will be compiled into a book. But I am sure that even individual articles will be very useful to very, very many.
Where do we start our conversation? Of course with love!
After all, all we need is love, right?
Wait a second... Before we start talking about love, I want to mention one simple fact. When there is no REAL, it is human nature to be content with a fake, a surrogate.
And therefore, love also comes in two types - real and surrogate. Most people, without knowing it, settle for a surrogate - and I'm going to explain to you what the difference is.
LOVE IS REAL, UNCONDITIONAL
As the name suggests, this love comes with no strings attached. I love you simply because you exist. Simply because you are you. I love you because I want to love you. Because I love loving you.
Are any more reasons needed?
It would seem so simple and natural.
I’m not going to dive into the topic of relationships now, so first of all, what I write concerns maternal love.
It is natural for a mother to love her child simply because it is her child. Simply because he exists.
How could it be otherwise?
Alas, it can.
And here surrogate love, or, in other words, conditional love, comes onto the scene.
CONDITIONAL LOVE, SURROGATE
The peculiarity of conditional love, which is obvious from the name itself, is its conditionality.
How does this manifest itself? Again, I will not touch intergender love. Because, alas, many mothers, not knowing how to raise their children differently, constantly set CONDITIONS for them.
If you study well, it means you are a good girl (or boy)
If you listen to your mother, it means...
And if you don’t obey, that means you’re a bad girl, and I won’t love you.
Do you feel it, my dear reader (or reader)? The bidding has already begun. The trade in love has already begun.
And the child is already beginning to understand that they will not love just like that. What love is needed DESERVE. That mom will only love you when you please her, when you fulfill some of her requirements.
Selling, surrogate, conditional love - it is this, this is the love of a mother for her child that lays an unconscious stereotype, a pattern of behavior in the child for the rest of his life.
Namely: the lives of most people are spent in barren trying to EARN love. The love of a wife, husband, boss and colleagues at work, the love of one’s own children and even - isn’t it a paradox! - your own love and your own approval.
Conditional love is bought. It is not bought for money, but for good behavior. For behavior that is pleasing to others and people around you.
One single belief, learned once, a long time ago, in distant childhood: “I’m not good enough on my own.” To be loved, I need to improve” - it is this false belief that is the cause of the suffering of most people.
"Conditional" and unconditional love
One of the dangerous attitudes about love is associated with the idea that love is given for something, that it must be earned, that it must be fought for. In short, love is a reward for good behavior. In this case, there is a mixture of social and emotional levels in relationships. If love is money, then, of course, it must be earned.
This “conditional love” attitude is formed in childhood in a fairly simple way. For example, a mother says to her child: “If you don’t eat this porridge, I won’t love you” or “If you’re naughty, I’ll give you to someone else’s uncle.” In this case, the child finds himself in a conflict situation: either be himself, but there is a risk of being left without love, or meet parental expectations for the sake of their love. And for a child, love is a vital necessity, no less than food and safety. This is how the psychology of an “obedient child” is formed with an internal split between the “good” and “bad” parts of oneself. For him, love appears as a means of manipulation; it can be given, or it can be taken back.
Later, when a person grows up, he begins to be guided by mottos that are a consequence of the concept of “conditional love” taught in childhood. This attitude forms a scenario in which a person is doomed not only not to love anyone, but also to prevent others from loving him. These are just some of the mottos that guide him in the future. They logically follow from the concept of love taught by parents.
1. Don't love anyone just like that. That is, if love is money, then money is not just given away. Therefore, love must be protected, accumulated and given only to those who deserve it. And in general, first I need to check how reliable my supposed “object” of love is. Maybe some crook will get caught. I will give him my love, and he will hide with it or exchange it for something else.
2. Don’t ask for it, don’t tell anyone that you need love and warmth. If you open up to another, you will show your dependence on his love. He will begin to twist ropes out of you and manipulate you (like parents in childhood). Therefore, you have to pretend that you don’t really need his love.
3. If you are given warmth, do not accept it and do not show that you needed it. This is a very dangerous technique when someone tries to give their love for free (!). There is clearly some kind of foul play here, as if they would have to pay for it later. Therefore, just in case, it is better not to succumb to provocation. As a last resort, take it, but as if you are doing it a favor.
4. If they don't give you the kind of love you like, - don’t reject it, but take it and hide it. Love is always a treasure, only fools can refuse it. There are times when a man tells a woman that he loves her, but she doesn’t like him. But they give you “money,” and what if no one else offers it, and you’ll have to regret it for the rest of your life. And the woman agrees to live with the unloved. but accepting love from him.
5. Don't love yourself. My personality in itself is of little value. Self-love is of little value, the main thing is the love of others. To do this, you need to meet their expectations. Sometimes they say: “Why should I love myself? There is nothing valuable about me."
As you can see, it is extremely difficult to reach such a person with love. If we talk about true love, then it is unconditional in nature. Love arises for a person not as a function or role, but because of his uniqueness and uniqueness. They love not for something, but sometimes even in spite of something. Hence the good news: the struggle for love is already over! Everyone has uniqueness, therefore, in order to be loved, we don’t need to do anything special. You don’t even have to be “good” for another: “good” is more difficult to love, since his uniqueness is closed.
From the book How to Love Your Teenager by Campbell Ross3. Unconditional love The basis of a strong relationship with a teenager is unconditional love. Only such love can prevent the development of resentment in a teenager, prevent the emergence of feelings of fear, protect against the feeling of one’s own uselessness and
From the book FAQ author Protopopov Anatoly From the book Stop Raising Children [Help Them Grow] author Nekrasova ZaryanaTwo types of love: Unconditional love and concerned love. Unconditional love does not consider the child to be either too wise or too naive. She sees him for who he is. And accepts his ignorance, and imperfection, and his inner harmony. She teaches IN ADVANCE. Unconditional
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From the book The Ability to Love by Fromm AllanUnconditional love and discipline We receive many letters from parents and educators. They ask us questions, get advice, share their hopes and successes. And that’s what they paid attention to, and now we pay yours. It happens that parents, especially mothers, show unconditional love
From the book Failure is the path to success [How to make past mistakes work for us] by Ridler BillUNCONDITIONAL LOVE Whatever your child's native language is, it is important to speak that language without asking for anything in return. Conditions cannot be set. Unconditional love is our guiding star. Deprived of her light, parents wander in the dark. It helps us to correctly assess
From the book Ten Parenting Mistakes author Lepeshova Evgenia6. OUR MAIN LOVE IS LOVE FOR OURSELVES The word “love” is unusual, it contains echoes of warmth, beauty and even heroism. If love brings sorrow and not joy, then at least it is sorrow tinged with greatness. Love honors the lover and can sometimes glorify him.
From the book 5 methods of raising children author Litvak Mikhail EfimovichDo you think you already know what unconditional love is? We're here to learn how to do it! If you blame your spouse, then you have not yet learned unconditional love. Lovingly accepting your mistakes (technique #9) will help you prolong your marriage. Stop trying to find out who
From the book How to Keep Love in a Marriage by Gottman John From the author's book From the author's book1. Conditional Responsibility The following attitude can be deciphered as follows: “I’m with you... until I meet someone better.” Tyler and Abby, whom we met in Chapter 3, are a classic example. Such partners can flirt, look at each other
Probably every person has encountered relationship problems in their life.
At first our parents did not understand us. Then we stopped understanding our loved one, children, spouse, work colleagues, etc.
Misunderstanding and rejection are growing like a snowball among humanity.
Every day life teaches us the same lessons, which for some reason we are not able to understand.
What are these lessons?
The answer is simple - Love yourself and other people unconditionally.
Ultimately, all life lessons come down to one thing - learning to love unconditionally. This is both easy and difficult.
Before answering this question, it is necessary to understand what conditional love is.
Conditional love is when we love conditionally: “If you behave well, I like you, I love you”, “If you bring straight A’s from school, I love you”, “If you don’t deceive me, I love you”, “If you bring home a lot of money, I love you,” “If you don’t cheat on me, I love you,” etc. Got it?
That is, conditional love is when we set conditions, when we love for something.
Can you accept a person as he is?
Do you want to be accepted for who you really are?
Take a close look at yourself, hear how you pronounce these conditions. Many of them sit on a subconscious level. But they can be seen from those situations, from the problems that we encounter in life.
This is a message to us from ourselves - how we do not love and do not accept ourselves and how we do not love and do not accept our loved ones and others. We all need love like air, and our loved ones need it too.
Unconditional love is when we love and fully accept ourselves; it is when we love and accept those close to us and those around us as they are, and not as we would like them to be. Do not impose on them your ideas about what to say, how to behave, and how and what to do. Ultimately, all this shows you how you would like to be yourself.
So become like this!
Don't demand the impossible from others! They have their own tasks in this world. They came into this world for their own lessons, not yours. They came into this world to live their own life, not yours, which, as you may say to yourself in moments of self-revelation, “failed” or “didn’t quite work out.”
Don't try to change the world without changing yourself.
Don't try to change your neighbor.
This is how violence enters our lives.
“The road to hell is paved with good intentions!”
Change yourself first.
By changing, we change the world around us.
If we change, those around us will change, our lives and our loved ones, who are connected to us by very close ties, will change.
Not right away, have patience, but it will definitely happen, because the external is a reflection of the internal.
Unconditional love is similar to the love a woman experiences when she gives birth to a child and holds him in her arms for the first time. At this moment she is all glowing. Then it becomes clear that love is light.
She loves her child in every way.
He doesn't let her sleep, sometimes he hurts her, he messes her diapers, he takes up her time, but she loves him, loves him unconditionally.
But months pass, and conditional love begins to creep to the surface, gradually displacing unconditional love: “If he sleeps peacefully and doesn’t scream, I love him,” “If he gives me the opportunity to do household chores, I love him.”
If the opposite happens, irritation, anger and other negative energies enter life, and these, in turn, attract other situations. The wheel of karma begins its run. The external reflects the internal. Like attracts like.
Hate attracts hate, love attracts love.
Only unconditional love can heal a person and help him realize himself in life.
I was struck by one example related to unconditional love, very illustrative.
An evangelical preacher from Finland spoke about this in a sermon. This is the story of his life.
He had a brother who was a drug addict who lived in New York and a father who was an alcoholic. This went on for a very long time, and he could do nothing to help them. At some point in time, he realized what unconditional love is and let it into himself. And, as they write in the books, “a miracle happened.” My brother recovered from drug addiction, and my father stopped drinking. He realized that he loved them conditionally. He realized that he loved thoughts about them, not them themselves.
Another example that happened to me. We all have problems communicating with our own children. We all don't like something about their behavior. However, we don't even realize that our children reflect ourselves. They reflect some trait in us that we don’t like, for which we don’t like ourselves, and sometimes even hate us. But we never admit this to ourselves, because that would mean looking directly and honestly at ourselves, at our own face. And it can be very unsightly. Therefore, we put on all kinds of masks, just so as not to see the truth and not show people the true thing that is inside us. That's why we don't like it when people show us ourselves.
In addition to the fact that we have passed on our own fears and blocks to our children genetically, in addition to the fact that they have absorbed our beliefs from the atmosphere at home - in addition to all this, we literally provoke them by the presence of our fears, blocks, and beliefs. They reflect ourselves as if in a mirror. Our thoughts simulate a situation in which they behave this way. If you don't like something in others, then it is present in you. Search. Like attracts like. The external reflects the internal.
So, here's an example from my own life.
My daughter had one bad habit. In certain situations, she began to behave as if she was deliberately irritating me, which I naturally did not like. I tried to somehow cope with this situation, tried to reason with my daughter, educate her, but this, of course, did not help.
Before changing others, change yourself first!
At some point, it suddenly hit me, and I realized that with such behavior she wanted to tell me something about myself.
She reflects me! (I wonder why I was blind until that moment?) And I went inside myself. At first I didn't see anything. You need to have a great desire to know the truth, honesty and the courage to see yourself as you really are. And this can be very painful.
And I saw it. I saw that there was something in me for which I did not love my daughter. And I saw something for which I did not love and did not accept myself. The light of consciousness illuminated one of the dark corners of my soul. Then all I had to do was forgive and accept myself for who I really am - not a very attractive process, especially considering that all our lives we have been taught that we should (!) strive to become better. And this really should be so, but how will we become better if we don’t see who we really are?
When this happened, when I saw myself as real and forgave, and this happened within an hour, my daughter immediately changed her behavior pattern. I never saw this character trait in her again. I changed, she also changed with me.
What does it mean to accept yourself as you are and forgive yourself?
Imagine that your one-year-old child took something very dear to you and accidentally broke it.
What are your thoughts, feelings and actions?
Now imagine that your ten-year-old son or daughter did the same, only before that you asked them a hundred times not to touch this thing. Do you feel the difference?
In the first case, you reconciled yourself, forgave the child - what will you take from him? - and accepted what is. You have accepted the fact, you have accepted reality as it is.
In the second case, you don't want to come to terms with the fact, you don't want to forgive.
Close your eyes and imagine both of these situations right now, without procrastinating, and compare the feelings. You will understand what it means to forgive and accept. You will understand what it means to take a situation for granted.
A person does not know how to forgive either himself or others, which is why I gave the example of a baby. The feeling of unconditional love is still alive here. The process of forgiveness and self-acceptance is very similar to the process of repentance, repentance and humility. All this must come from the heart, otherwise nothing will happen.
Notice your behavior in relation to the people around you and loved ones. Notice what you don't like about their behavior, what irritates you about them. This is your next thought form (belief, block) that has risen to the surface from the subconscious and is modeling the situation so that you can once again try to learn the lesson of forgiveness and unconditional love. And you will constantly encounter this until you complete the lesson. If you don’t like rudeness, it means that either it is inherent in you, or you have the conviction that you are a weak person and a victim. In both cases, you will attract situations to yourself until you understand something definite about yourself and the outside world.
Yes, what has just been said, at first glance, does not inspire optimism and love for life. But this is only at first glance. In fact, it's the other way around. This is perhaps the most optimistic information you have received in your life. In order to move forward, we need to know where we are and what we really have.
How can we change ourselves if we don’t know who we are and what we are? What should we change then?
How can we grow spiritually if we don’t even admit to ourselves that we are capable of lies and deception?
You may lie to others because sometimes it can be painful and dangerous to open up to people. They can use this against you. They, just like you, are afraid of this world and take measures to protect themselves. Just notice how you do it every time. But don't lie to yourself. Information obtained from honest dialogue with yourself is the most optimistic information that can appear in your life. Because the light of consciousness drives out darkness from our souls. This is a step towards unity with oneself, this is a step towards unity with the world, this is a step towards unity with God.
Which of us can say about himself that he is a saint?
Therefore, we must learn to look honestly into ourselves and accept ourselves as we really are. We need to learn to love ourselves for who we really are. How can we take a step towards inner perfection if we do not accept ourselves?
A runner must push off the ground to run forward. In the same way, we must see and accept what is hidden within us in order to begin to move forward. This is true self-love. Otherwise, we will again and again push the negative sides of our personality deep inside, afraid to look ourselves honestly in the eyes, and situations will happen to us again and again in which we will suffer.
Dealing with our own masks, we can endlessly “strive for perfection,” but nothing will ever change until we see our true selves.
Having learned to understand and accept ourselves, having learned to love ourselves, we will learn to understand, accept and love other people. This is love and compassion for one's neighbor.
How can we love another person if we don't know how to love ourselves?
How can we help another person if we have failed to help ourselves?
How can we give to our neighbor what we do not have ourselves?
How can we understand that we are loved if we do not know what self-love and respect are?
AND NOW EVERYONE ASK YOURSELF A QUESTION AND ANSWER YOURSELF HONESTLY, WITHOUT LYING - ARE YOU ABLE TO LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY OR ARE YOU JUST PLAYING AT LOVE, DECEIVING YOURSELF AND OTHERS AROUND?
